Break the Cycle

Old wounds often shape how we react in marriage. Maybe you shut down when your spouse raises their voice because, as a child, conflict meant chaos. Or you feel unworthy of love when your partner is distant, mirroring past emotional neglect. These reactions aren’t just habits—they’re survival patterns. But you can break the cycle.

Next time you feel triggered, pause and ask: “Is this about now, or is it my past speaking?” If it’s old pain, take a breath and choose a new response. Instead of shutting down, say: “When you raise your voice, I feel overwhelmed. I know you’re not attacking me, but it brings up old fears.” Naming emotions instead of reacting defensively fosters understanding and connection.

Actionable Tip: Reflect on a recent argument. Did your reaction stem from the present or past? Share this realization with your spouse and create a new way to respond. Healing happens one conscious choice at a time.