Episode 40. Romance Woes and Wins: With Romance Expert Josie McEwen
Romance is an essential ingredient for a thriving relationship... for Valentine's and all year-round. In this enlightening episode of Marriage IQ, we explore the art of intentional romance with expert Josie McEwen, founder of Romance Enhanced Consulting.
From creative date ideas to practical tips for rekindling the spark, Josie shares her wealth of experience in helping couples infuse more romance into their daily lives. Whether you consider yourself a hopeless romantic or struggle to express affection, this episode offers valuable insights for everyone.
We also share some amusing anecdotes about romantic plans gone awry, from a challenging trip to Italy to an unexpectedly motion-sickness-inducing treehouse getaway. These stories highlight the importance of flexibility and humor in navigating the ups and downs of romantic endeavors.
This episode serves as a reminder that romance is just not about grand gestures or perfect execution, but rather about the intentional effort to connect with and appreciate your partner. By implementing these strategies, you can create a more fulfilling and passionate relationship, regardless of your natural inclination towards romance.
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Yabba dabba doo. And welcome to you today, all of our wonderful listeners out there. We're so glad you joined us. Today is a special day because we are going to really ratchet up talking.[00:00:16 - 00:00:19]
More about romance, one of our favorite topics.[00:00:19 - 00:00:27]
So all of you romantic lovers out there, this, this one's for you. We just want to have some fun.[00:00:27 - 00:01:03]
Today and it might especially be for those who don't feel romantic at all and want some tips on how to become more romantic. We're really lucky today to have with us Josie McEwen. And she has the great privilege of being a romance consultant. I'd never heard of such a job before, but she's the founder of Romance Enhanced Consulting and has become an expert on all things romance. So we're really excited to, to get some of her insights today about how to help our relationships infuse a little bit more romance into them. So welcome. Josie.[00:01:03 - 00:01:07]
Hello. I'm so happy to be here. Thanks for having me. I'm excited.[00:01:08 - 00:01:17]
We're really grateful to have you. Can you tell me, just for starters, how in the world would someone ever fall into such a lucky job as becoming a romance consultant?[00:01:17 - 00:01:18]
Yeah, I'm jealous.[00:01:19 - 00:03:33]
Well, it's actually very self made. I have always been a hopeless romantic. Always. Even when as a kid, my dad got a gift for my mom and it was this treadmill and so he set it up and he was really excited and I'm like, oh, dad, we could do so much better. So I made him get inside the box and he was like 60. He got inside this huge box and when my mom came home, he like popped out with flowers and we decorated the box and. And so I have always just loved everything about romance, even since I was a kid. And so as I've gotten married, I'm definitely the romantic one in our relationship, which I probably have enough romance for both of us combined for years. But so, and it works out great. He loves to be the recipient of it and I'm extra romantic. So I was planning a romantic date for my husband and I and he really likes baseball. So I came up with this theme date where we were going to go to batting cages and we were going to go to a sports bar and watch baseball. And then I came up with a baseball game, bedroom game, that we could play together. And I laid the cards all out throughout the house and it was so fun for me. It was like something so exciting and it brought out my creativity. And so we did this date and then afterwards he's like, man, you should really, like, sell this. And I was like, no, no, no, no, no, that's not gonna happen. And then he also made the comment of, I wish I could pay someone like you to help me be romantic. I could never come up with romantic ideas like that. And so that's where my idea came from, because I have an overabundance of being romantic and doing romantic things. And I know it doesn't always come easy to everyone, especially my husband included as well. So I just thought I could help other people make romance easy. So that's where it all started. And then it kind of kept ballooning from there. So it's something that I love doing, and it's just a really fun hobby and turned it into a business. So, wow, What a great story.[00:03:34 - 00:03:43]
I really love that you knew or you were looking for things that were really important to your husband and use that to segue into romance.[00:03:43 - 00:03:44]
Oh, yeah.[00:03:44 - 00:04:00]
For me, I'm not a baseball fan. I would have never thought of that. But because you really know the things that make your husband tick, you were able to integrate those into a romantic experience for him. That was so tailor made. I love that. That's really awesome.[00:04:00 - 00:04:08]
For me, it's like, really focusing on the couple and what their needs are and what their likes are and different things like that.[00:04:08 - 00:04:11]
Which takes knowing yourself and knowing your partner, right?[00:04:11 - 00:04:13]
It does, for sure.[00:04:14 - 00:04:50]
Speaking of ticking, I remember being ticked off on one of our trips that was supposed to be romantic. And I don't know if I want to share it with our audience, but what the heck, we will share it. A fail. I had this romantic trip planned to no less than Italy. And now, of course, we had just. We're pretty. Pretty close out of med school. We didn't have a lot of money. And so I was really tight on this. This trip. The budget was really tight.[00:04:50 - 00:05:08]
Well, and then let's add to that. We must have had more financial income than we realized, because our accountant reached out to us the day before we were going to leave and said, hey, in 10 days, or whatever it is. In 10 days, you owe $21,000 to the IRS.[00:05:08 - 00:05:14]
So I don't think I must not have taken anything out. I don't know what happens, but we.[00:05:14 - 00:05:23]
Are not appropriately advised on the amount of taxes that we needed to take out. So we were in a pretty interesting situation.[00:05:23 - 00:05:27]
Well, pretty interesting, pretty dire. Right before this romantic trip to Italy.[00:05:27 - 00:05:29]
Yep. And a lot of stress.[00:05:30 - 00:05:51]
Yeah. I was like, I was sucking it up big time. And to make it worse, we had everything planned out or so I thought. But then I realized the, the airport hotel I got in in rome was like 30 miles away from where we wanted to be. So we ended up like strolling the streets of rome at what, 3am Looking.[00:05:51 - 00:05:53]
For a different suitcase.[00:05:53 - 00:05:59]
I still remember the, the cloppity clop of my wheels going across the cobble streets for like what, what two hours.[00:05:59 - 00:06:06]
Looking for any hotel that would, yeah. Non existent budget.[00:06:06 - 00:06:10]
I think at that point we were too tired to be ticked off. We were just desperate.[00:06:11 - 00:06:12]
Jet lag.[00:06:12 - 00:06:17]
Jet lag. And here we are. Nobody speaks English. At least not back then.[00:06:17 - 00:06:17]
Yeah.[00:06:17 - 00:06:27]
And luckily we found a hotel. And I just, I just remember like waking up at like what, 2:00pm the next day, half the day was gone.[00:06:27 - 00:06:54]
And then realizing we had no money to go on any of the tours that we wanted to go on. So we were using our Steve, what's his name? Europe travel book. And that was all we had. Rick Steves. Yes. Everyone else was in their little tour groups with their umbrellas finding the person who was explaining about all the wonderful Roman architecture. Yes. And we're reading two paragraphs on each side or whatever.[00:06:54 - 00:06:57]
Actually Rick Steves has a really, he does a really good job.[00:06:57 - 00:07:05]
Yeah, he does. Everybody else was taking the elevator to the top of the basilica and we climbed 300 steps. That's right.[00:07:05 - 00:07:22]
Because we didn't have the money to pay for it. But the other thing too I, I, I, I, I remember is that we were. Oh yeah. Pickpocketed to make things worse. You know they talk about pickpocking in Rome. You know that that's a real thing.[00:07:22 - 00:07:35]
And so he gunned the atm, got out, followed us onto the, onto the subway and lost all the money we took out. I don't even know if that pizza.[00:07:35 - 00:07:47]
In Italy did we, I, I don't know. It was, I think by any objective standard it was a disaster. But you know, there were some moments that were utterly unforgettable.[00:07:47 - 00:07:49]
Yes. Very romantic.[00:07:49 - 00:07:51]
Very. And totally unscripted.[00:07:51 - 00:07:52]
Yeah.[00:07:52 - 00:07:56]
This restaurant we found like totally random.[00:07:56 - 00:07:57]
Like in a cave.[00:07:57 - 00:07:58]
In a cave.[00:07:58 - 00:07:59]
That's cool.[00:08:00 - 00:08:04]
Like and just other like the church in Florence.[00:08:04 - 00:08:04]
Yeah.[00:08:04 - 00:08:05]
Just fascinating.[00:08:05 - 00:08:06]
Yeah.[00:08:07 - 00:08:14]
And those are memories that we'll, we'll always remember. But that, that was kind of a, I think a. That's our big romance fail.[00:08:14 - 00:08:17]
How about you Josie? What can you give us?[00:08:17 - 00:09:56]
Everyone has those to be honest. Like you try something and maybe it doesn't work out but I think it's normal to normalize those. And now you're can talk about It. And you make these memories like it's still something that you connect over, you know. But one of my. I've had lots of successes and I've had lots of flops as well, but probably more successes than flops. But that's. But one of the. We were going on a romantic getaway for my birthday. It wasn't to Italy, but. But we were going up to Montana and we were going to go. I'd always wanted to go to Glacier national park, so that part of it's beautiful there and we loved it. And in my searching, I had found this cute little place that had a tree house, bungalow thing that you could stay in. And in this. In the pictures, it shows this cute little dome that you sleep in and you get to watch the stars. There's, like, windows for watching the stars. And it's in the mountain, like, secluded. And it looked super romantic. And it was to a point. But we got there and we didn't realize that the little dome was suspended. And so every time you would move, it was like you were seasick. And so I had all these high hopes of having a really romantic, intimate night together, but it really was just like, don't move.[00:09:59 - 00:10:04]
So it's a little bit of a squash on intimacy.[00:10:04 - 00:10:33]
And I really, like, halfway through the night, it even started raining, and so we couldn't see any stars. And then it started leaking inside as well. And we were trying not to get seasick and have it move. And so we really didn't get very much sleep that night. And so that was chalked up to one of those flops that looked really cool, but in return, wasn't actually as cool as I thought it was going to be.[00:10:34 - 00:10:39]
I hope you left something in the reviews that told about it being suspended. I did.[00:10:40 - 00:11:04]
I did. And I even was, you know, I. They were. They're just a small company trying to do things. And they had some cabins below. And I did. We did look at those cabins. So I left a review, a nice review about the cabins and stuff. But I did say that even though it looks really cool, the tree house thing, it's very hard to sleep in. So.[00:11:04 - 00:11:13]
So my. My understanding is that your job is to help people like us, not have these romantic fails. Is that right?[00:11:13 - 00:11:54]
Yes, I can try. I can't always guarantee that there's things that won't happen, but for sure, I have a lot of experience, a lot of different things to help people. And my. I probably focus a lot on people who think that they're not the romantic type. And helping them see that romance can be easy. Like it doesn't have to be time consuming, it doesn't have to be super expensive, it doesn't have to be something unobtainable or this huge event that it can be easy and accomplishable. So that's one of my goals as well. And to help people pull off amazing romantic events as well. So.[00:11:54 - 00:12:11]
So for starters, then, let's talk to the people who maybe romance is a little bit of a struggle for. Can you give some ide. So just basic tips for those who are either not feeling like they're romantic or they want to be, but they're not sure what to do?[00:12:11 - 00:15:21]
Yeah, for sure. So one thing that I always start with is that I really believe that anyone can be romantic. Even if you describe yourself as not being romantic or it's just not up your alley. And because to me, romance is something that you do for your sweetheart. You're intentionally trying to think of things for your sweetheart. What do they like? What kind of things are they going to enjoy? And I always bring up about how when a couple is dating, what did you do to woo your sweetheart? There must have been something. Do you get flowers? Did you write notes? Did you call them and tell them you missed them? Like there were things that we all did in that dating process to help woo and impress and think about our sweetheart. So that's what I like to go back to. Are you doing those same things now? Are you thinking of your sweetheart throughout the day? Are you thinking how you can show love to your sweetheart throughout the day? What can you do to. And I always like to tell people to start out with an ongoing list on their phone. And this list can be all inclusive. It can include anything and everything from you go out to eat and you have like a chocolate pie at a restaurant and they just love this chocolate pie. So you make a note in your phone, chocolate pie from whatever restaurant is one of their favorites. And then you make it into this ongoing list. So when you're wanting to do something special for your sweetheart, or maybe there's been a conflict and you want to show try to help with that reconnection, or it's just an everyday kind of thing, or your sweetheart's having a hard day and you want to do something nice and sweet for them, you can pull up that list and you don't have to remember, where was that one place that she really liked? Because we all forget. And if it's not on our written down or on our minds, it's something that we don't tend to do. But if we have a list of things that they love, like including like their favorite places to eat, their favorite desserts, their favorite smells, their favorite types of lotions or perfumes, or even things that they don't like, you know, to be. To remind ourselves of, like, oh, I really like that. But I remember she really didn't like that, you know, and to just kind of be a detective of your sweetheart, like, what is it that makes them tick? And so then when you want to do something, you have a ready made list of like, oh yeah, she said that one time that she would really love to go horseback riding on the beach. Maybe I'm going to surprise her on our next vacation and book that. Or, you know, just. And so when you hear your spouse or your sweetheart say something that they really love, write it down in that ongoing list and you can just have it on your phone in a notes app or whatever's convenient for you.[00:15:21 - 00:15:25]
But what a great idea. I love just keeping that list.[00:15:25 - 00:15:55]
So I've. This is new for me. I consider myself romantic, but it's like one of those things where, why didn't I think of this? So here's the thing though. What if, what if your spouse isn't like super good at expressing their likes and dislikes? Like, you have to be really, I guess, more sleuthful or ask questions, be curious.[00:15:55 - 00:16:45]
Yeah, and that's what I was gonna say too. One of the things that I do talk about, I have an online course that's called Secrets to be to easily being romantic. And that's one thing I talk about is talk about what is romantic to your sweetheart. Like, you might have a totally different idea of what's romantic to you than your sweetheart does. Like, maybe one person thinks being intimate and having this really nice intimate night is being romantic, where another person might think being romantic is the ambiance of a fancy dinner or something like that. So if you can get on the same page and be like, this is what I really feel like is romantic to me, then you can also be more aware of, oh, when I'm doing this, she may not think that this is romantic to her or vice versa.[00:16:45 - 00:17:07]
And so I love starting with going back to when you were dating. What did you do? Which, yeah, if, if we did that, you'd be playing the piano more often. For me, that totally wooed me. Scott was a. Was, I still am. Is a classical piano composer and he would play the piano and I would just melt.[00:17:07 - 00:17:08]
Just.[00:17:08 - 00:17:12]
Or if you would sing to me, I would just melt. But it's been a little while.[00:17:13 - 00:17:14]
I still sing.[00:17:14 - 00:17:17]
You still sing, but you haven't played the piano for me for a while.[00:17:18 - 00:17:22]
Well, and it really is intentional. That's one of our four cornerstones. Right. Intentionality.[00:17:22 - 00:17:23]
Yeah.[00:17:23 - 00:17:35]
Requires us to sit down, make a plan. This plan is. Let's really pay attention to what my spouse really likes and doesn't like and write it down.[00:17:35 - 00:17:35]
Yeah.[00:17:35 - 00:17:40]
Like, that's really great and very helpful.[00:17:40 - 00:18:08]
And I think that's part of the fun of it. Like, when you start to think of all these ways that you can show love to your sweetheart in ways that are meaningful to them, it gets exciting and it makes your relationship, like, come alive again because you're thinking of ways that you're going to surprise your sweetheart and you're coming kind of out of your own self and into ways to help somebody out.[00:18:09 - 00:18:16]
That's great. So can I just ask you, what does a very romantic date look like to you?[00:18:17 - 00:18:17]
Did you.[00:18:17 - 00:18:19]
The most romantic date night.[00:18:19 - 00:18:24]
Yeah. Put you up to this so he could know what to do for Valentine's Day?[00:18:24 - 00:18:25]
No, actually, that was my question.[00:18:27 - 00:18:51]
No, no. I'm just teasing. I have so many different romantic ideas. It's really hard to narrow it down. But I would probably say at the moment, probably they change. But at the moment, I would say if I came home and I had a new outfit laid out on the bed with a note that said, put this on. I'm taking you somewhere special tonight.[00:18:51 - 00:18:52]
Wow.[00:18:52 - 00:19:24]
And then there would be surprises all along the way, and I wouldn't know where we're going. And we would get to where we were going, and it would be this really scenic outdoors place, and there'd be candles, and there'd be rose petals, and there'd be music playing, and we'd have our songs and we would dance, and then we would just have a really great night connecting and talking and making love, like, that would probably be an ultimate romantic night for me.[00:19:24 - 00:19:26]
That sounds very romantic.[00:19:26 - 00:20:01]
I don't. You know that my expectations, like, I can tell that to my husband, but at the same time, I know that he's probably not the most romantic type. So he could write it down and he could do some of those things, but it also may not always happen the way that my expectations or what I picture. Does that make sense what I'm saying? So I can recognize his attempts of what he's trying to do, even though, because I'm such a romantic person, it may not be the same as for what I Would do. So what.[00:20:01 - 00:20:03]
You can appreciate every attempt, right?[00:20:03 - 00:20:44]
Yes. Yeah, we were. We had. I had Covid over Christmas, and so we were sleeping in separate rooms, and he was really sweet, and he set up a romantic dinner, and he set a table out the side of my hall, and then he set one out by his hall. So we were apart, but we were still being able to be together. And he put a sheet on the. You know, he was trying to make it look nice, and he put a sheet on it, and it was. It was so romantic. It wasn't probably what, like, I would have done with it all, but at the same time, it was something so special because he was really trying to make an effort for me as well.[00:20:44 - 00:20:56]
And I. I also love your idea of making a playlist of songs that are important to both of you. I think that comes in clutch for every romantic date you plan, right?[00:20:56 - 00:20:58]
Yeah, it sure does.[00:20:59 - 00:21:01]
I think it's high time that we make our list, honey.[00:21:01 - 00:21:02]
I think so, too.[00:21:03 - 00:21:06]
We have our songs. It's like, all right, now. Now we're doing this thing.[00:21:06 - 00:21:07]
Thing.[00:21:07 - 00:21:09]
I think she wants you to sing to her as well.[00:21:10 - 00:21:12]
Yeah. It's a beautiful voice.[00:21:13 - 00:21:14]
Well, we have fun.[00:21:14 - 00:21:19]
Music is. Is a big pathway to creating romantic ideas.[00:21:19 - 00:21:29]
I think that's probably. Yeah, I think you're right. Music just really greases those wheels. It does for romance. That's a really good point.[00:21:29 - 00:22:11]
I actually like to talk about. In my online course, I talk a lot about the five senses, actually, and bringing that into romance. So hearing music is a big one. Tastes, touch, smells, and sight, like, those are all things that can really enhance a romantic experience. If you have your sweetheart's favorite scent in the background, or if you have candles glowing and rose petals, if you have their favorite treats out, like, it really just makes this experience even more magical for, you know, your sweetheart and for you as well.[00:22:11 - 00:22:29]
That's really awesome. As part of your consulting, you create romantic trips for people as well. Could you give us an example of one of the most romantic trips that you have created for people and how. How that works?[00:22:29 - 00:25:29]
Sure. One of. I've created lots of romantic trips. Sometimes they're surprises for one of the couple, one of the person in the couple. Sometimes it's both. But probably my. One of my favorites was when I was working with a couple from Colorado and they wanted me to do a surprise romantic getaway for them. So what that entails is they give me a budget, and they say, you plan it all, book it all, but we don't want to know what we're doing until the day of. So I sent them envelopes and they opened up their trip. And that was really fun because it was a surprise. And that's a really big part of romance for me. Not everybody likes surprises, but for me, having that surprise effect is a. A really big element. And so I was able to book them to go to Moab, which is a really cool place here in Utah. And it was within driving distance of their. Where they were at. And then I also surprised them with their hotel. And I went in and I set up a romantic, sweet experience for them. So I had rose petals and candles and had a whole theme of massage. So I bought robes for them and had my night of massage game there for them and had treats and candles, and it was just a special experience. And then so they opened up where they were going. And one of the stops was to go to on their way was to stop at a place that had a lot of really cool hot springs. And so it was like a nice way to relax and bond together. But I give them each special assignments as well. So I had the husband create a playlist of their songs that they could play during their drive. And then I had the wife do special things. And it was all centered around what their love languages were. So I had the wife do things that were specific for his love language and vice versa. And then I also had them play, which is one of my favorite games. But you play 20 questions, but you can only do dates or experiences that you guys have had together. And so it's really fun to be able to try to guess what your sweetheart's thinking about. And you go through all these different romantic experiences and dates and things that you guys have had. It's just a really great way to reconnect and reminisce about your love and the time that you guys have had together as well. So they did that, and then there was going to be a couple's massage for them. There's. So it was. And they were just super surprised by it all, and they loved it all. And they were very active couple, so they loved being able to explore and hike, and it was just right up their alley. So I took what they loved and then I turned it into this magical romantic getaway for them. And wow, it was so fun to plan.[00:25:29 - 00:25:33]
So, wow, what a great idea.[00:25:33 - 00:25:40]
You know, I thought I was romantic. I really prided myself on being a romantic guy.[00:25:40 - 00:25:42]
You are, but you're like.[00:25:42 - 00:25:53]
You're like taking this to the next level here. You're. You are the teacher and I am the student. I mean, this is like next level stuff.[00:25:54 - 00:26:02]
It was so fun for me. It's really something that I just love doing. I'm sure you can tell as I get excited about these things, you know.[00:26:02 - 00:27:01]
One of many things that stuck out to me that you said was having them remember back on meaningful dates that they'd already gone on before. And John Gottman, researcher, relationship expert, as you know, says if a couple can look back on their relationship and paint it in a good light, you know, with fond memories, no matter what their relationship is going through, he can predict that they'll probably make it with 95% accuracy. If they've rewritten their story only to focus on the negative, he predicts within being with them about 15 minutes that they probably won't make it. So that game, in and of itself is a huge benefit to couples to be able to see with fondness and with just love and, and with romance as the framework. Those rose colored glasses.[00:27:01 - 00:27:02]
Yeah.[00:27:02 - 00:27:08]
That helps create more intimacy in their marriage and really solidify the strength of their marriage.[00:27:08 - 00:27:32]
In our favorite games, and we've even played it like when our kids are in the backseat busy on their devices or something. And it's kind of like you're, sometimes you're talking about like intimate experiences in, in this game. And so sometimes you have to be a little like, it's kind of fun to be like, try and describe it in a way that your spouse knows about it, but maybe nobody else knows about what you're talking about.[00:27:32 - 00:27:33]
We don't have to worry about that anymore.[00:27:33 - 00:27:35]
So our kids are gone now.[00:27:35 - 00:27:38]
Yeah. And even when they're around, they, we still talk about it.[00:27:38 - 00:27:39]
They just roll their eyes.[00:27:40 - 00:27:43]
They just roll their eyes. Oh, mom and dad, get a room.[00:27:43 - 00:27:44]
Yeah.[00:27:44 - 00:27:45]
Like we love each other. Sorry.[00:27:45 - 00:27:59]
You know, another thing too, you're talking about John Gottman. And you know, one thing that, that we've kind of learned together too, in, in this whole journey is the power of curiosity.[00:27:59 - 00:28:00]
Yes.[00:28:00 - 00:28:26]
Like you talked about, what did you do when you were wooing your spouse? Well, okay. Without curiosity, that wooing gets up and is gone and it's nowhere. And so looking at our spouse as somebody who's this mysterious person that I don't, I don't know.[00:28:26 - 00:28:26]
Yeah.[00:28:26 - 00:29:09]
As soon as I say I know my spouse, that romance is gone. But if I'm constant, if I'm constantly curious, like really wanting to figure out what my spouse is like, and, and I think it probably came easy to me. And here's why I. I'm probably different from a lot of guys. And one of the reasons in high school I was a nerd and I was an airhead. And those two things don't go well in high school. And so, in fact, I think I was voted biggest airhead in my, my class. And I think you would agree when you.[00:29:10 - 00:29:11]
When. Yes.[00:29:11 - 00:29:14]
But here's, here's. I'm not much of an airhead now, by the way.[00:29:14 - 00:29:15]
Right.[00:29:15 - 00:29:52]
But I think part of that airheadedness as a youth, all I want, I was just curious about the world around me. I want to see how things worked. And so I always had that kind of a questioning look on my face, like I don't really know things. I want to find out. And so that's been my, My, my journey in this marriage is as soon as I think I know my wife, then it. That romance is dying. I constantly need to be curious. And now I don't look like an airhead, at least most of the time.[00:29:53 - 00:30:03]
That's true. Can I add to that, though? On the other hand, it is important to know some, some things about your spouse to get started on this. Like, she knew that her husband liked baseball.[00:30:03 - 00:30:04]
Oh, yeah.[00:30:04 - 00:30:05]
That's a given.[00:30:05 - 00:30:06]
Right.[00:30:06 - 00:30:13]
So you have to have those foundational things that you've got at least some level of awareness that you know what's important to them.[00:30:13 - 00:30:17]
Right. And that's where. That's where that intentionality comes in. You're curious.[00:30:17 - 00:30:18]
Yeah.[00:30:18 - 00:30:35]
That curiosity uses insight. That's one of our four cornerstones. Curiosity is tied directly to insight. Then we become intentional. Writing down, this is what she likes, this is what she doesn't like. But the list never ends.[00:30:36 - 00:30:36]
That's it.[00:30:36 - 00:30:38]
That's what you're being curious.[00:30:38 - 00:30:41]
That list will go on until I die.[00:30:41 - 00:30:44]
Because you can keep learning things about each other.[00:30:44 - 00:30:46]
You're gonna continue being a mystery to me.[00:30:47 - 00:30:47]
Yeah.[00:30:47 - 00:30:52]
So I, I can't ever really truly know you like that.[00:30:52 - 00:30:55]
And things change. Like what change?[00:30:55 - 00:30:56]
You're right.[00:30:56 - 00:30:58]
Totally different from what you like now.[00:30:58 - 00:31:04]
That's exactly right. That's why we're. That we don't ever truly know our spouse.[00:31:04 - 00:32:32]
Yeah. And I think it's so important to realize that life gets really busy, especially as a married couple with young kids or empty nesters. Like, life just gets in the way. And how easy is it for us to just kind of become roommates and not have that curiosity about each other and just kind of do the mundane kind of things that we usually do. But when we start to be curious, when we start to be intentional, and we start to think of ways, fun dates or even just like a simple love note on the pillow, you know, how is this gonna help our relationship? You're kind of bringing back that passion and that fun back into your relationship. And I think that's one of the benefits of having more romance in your relationship. Even if it's just the small little things like picking up your favorite. Their favorite treat, the grocery store. It shows your sweetheart, you are. I'm thinking about you, and you are important to me. And that really enhances your love and your bonding and your relationship together. And I think so often we get in these ruts and these habits where we kind of stop doing that. We probably tell each other we love each other, but are we doing the things that are showing that same love that we have? You know, and that's easy to get in those times of not doing that.[00:32:33 - 00:32:43]
I will say that that is probably life for everyone. Like, even the most romantic person in the world, they're going to have these moments, and that's okay.[00:32:43 - 00:32:43]
Yeah.[00:32:43 - 00:33:03]
Where you're not exactly romantic. There's. There's ebbs and flows to everything, for sure. And. And so one thing I have done to. To enhance that intimacy is I've written down, I have it as a goal that I check off, you know, once a month, flowers for Heidi.[00:33:03 - 00:33:05]
Oh, that's.[00:33:05 - 00:33:13]
And of course, the date nights. That's obligatory, though. I don't have. We don't have to remind ourselves. But. Because I get busy.[00:33:13 - 00:33:13]
Yeah.[00:33:14 - 00:33:22]
And if I see it and it's a goal and I need to check it off, that's a very unromantic motive for a romantic act.[00:33:23 - 00:33:40]
It's very practical, and it gets done, you know, and. And that's totally great. And if you put it in your calendar or somewhere where a reminding app or something like that, it's going to be. To do instead of just being like, oh, yeah, I do need to be romantic. But you're.[00:33:40 - 00:33:49]
I use my Strides app that I have all my goals. It's called Strides. Very, very. I use it every day.[00:33:49 - 00:34:07]
So, Josie, what about those young couples or couples for whom finances are tighter? Do you have some romantic ideas for them that might replace something that other couples might get fulfillment through travel?[00:34:08 - 00:35:52]
Yeah, for sure. I love being able to have romantic dates at home. Like, that is something. And that's something that I really love doing. I have romantic date night kits that I help people bring in the romance. And if their kids are asleep, they can still have a romantic night. At home. But I also love being able to plan staycations for couples. And that a staycation, if people don't know that's like you're either staying at home and making something romantic, or you're just going like an hour or two away, so you're not like going super far. And staycation can be such an amazing thing. I've planned a lot of staycations for myself and for other couples as well. And one time I planned a staycation for my husband and I. He's always wanted to go to Alaska, and I've wanted to go to Alaska, and I want to see the northern lights. And so I found this really great, cute cabin that was about an hour and a half away. And they had a themed romantic room that had northern lights. And there was like this really great jetted tub. You got to sit in the tub and watch this display of the northern lights. And it really felt like you were in a whole different space and area. So there's a lot of different places like that that you can go or even just going, you know, out and then coming back and creating your own space in your own home to feel like a different romantic escape. It can make such a huge difference for couples. And it's so important for couples to really get away and to spend that time and make an effort to spend that time together. It really makes a big difference in any relationship.[00:35:53 - 00:36:04]
Josie, do you have any final thoughts for us on anything else romance related that you feel like our listeners could really benefit from your wisdom in.[00:36:04 - 00:37:01]
I would just say, just like you guys promote to just continually strive to be intentional, to do the little things, do the things that you did when you were dating, especially if you feel like your romance or your marriage is kind of dull or boring, like you can't change your sweetheart or your spouse. But you can make a big difference in even how you perceive your relationship. When you start to be intentional and start thinking of your sweetheart, it brings in a whole new level of connection that you get to enjoy for you as well. Even if your sweetheart doesn't respond in the way that you want them to respond, you're still choosing to be intentional in your love and in your marriage and romance. And anybody can be romantic. It just comes down to, are you willing to be intentional?[00:37:01 - 00:37:02]
I love that.[00:37:02 - 00:37:03]
I love that.[00:37:03 - 00:37:14]
That's great. So, Josie, if any of our listeners are wanting to look you up, see what you have to offer, how can they. How can they get a hold of you? Where can they find you?[00:37:14 - 00:37:47]
Yeah, I would love to help anybody. I'm it's something that I love doing so and I that's part of my personality as well, is helping others is something that brings me a lot of joy. So I get just as excited planning romantic events for other people as I do for myself. You can find me@romanceenhanced.com so the D is after enhanced. I'm on Instagram, and I'm on Facebook and LinkedIn at Romance Enhanced. I also have on Facebook a Romantic Getaways Made Easy page. You can find me there.[00:37:47 - 00:37:55]
Well, thank you so much for being with us today. This has just been really fun and given us some ideas that I think we'll probably try out, too.[00:37:55 - 00:37:57]
Yeah. Thanks for being on with us.[00:37:57 - 00:38:00]
Yeah, thank you. This has been awesome. I appreciate you guys.[00:38:00 - 00:38:02]
All right, everybody, have a great week.[00:38:03 - 00:38:04]
See you next week.[00:38:04 - 00:38:04]
See you.
